Category Archives: entertainment

The flashback that made me want to get physical.

nd here’s where I let on to just how old I might be…..

I absolutely heart me some ’80s music. Love it. In fact, if I’m in need of something to help keep me motivated on a task, you will either find me listening to music from the ’80s or disco. No…that is NOT a typo. (Remember that age thing I mentioned at the beginning of this post? Well…there you go.)

Sidenote: As far as I’m concerned, disco will NEVER be dead. You can’t shake your ass to anything else like you can to disco. And don’t think I don’t know that you do it too. In your home. When nobody’s watching (at least so you think). You put on Donna Summer’s Last Dance and boogie down. Until you hear someone nearby and you run to switch it to Metallica and start headbanging. Cuz that’ll totally throw them off the trail of what you were REALLY doing in there. You can admit it now. We all know. DON’T WE.

My most recent ’80s flashback had me searching for the video to Olivia Newton-John’s Physical. I found what I was looking for and much more. I got two flashbacks for the price of one. (Then again since it didn’t cost me anything, it was actually two flashbacks for the price of none. But I digress yet again.)

Remember Solid Gold? (Cue the “ooooo”s and “ahhhh”s here.)

That weekly music countdown show that was only just a small step up from American Bandstand. Where lip synching songs was the ONLY option and was paired with a bunch of HAWT dancers in spandex (Spandex? In the ’80s? NAH!). I vaguely seem to remember having a HUGE crush on one of the male dancers. Couldn’t tell you which one, though.

 

That’s just some awesome shit right there. She never made a mistake. Her performance was flawless. She never had to take a break in the middle of the song bcuz she was out of breath from her dancing workout (or those steamy hunks dancing with her *fanning self*). And I have absolutely NO idea how my simple little ’80s song flashback morphed into poking fun at Solid Gold. I loved that show growing up.

My mood at the beginning of the evening would have fit in better at a 2 Live Crew show instead of a Rick Springfield show.

Well, I just finished my homework, so let’s see if I can downshift and talk about this weekend. I know there are some curious minds out there. Now, it’s entirely possible that this will make sense to no one else but me. And I will not be in the least offended if you run screaming from this post. LOL

Last Friday is the Rick Springfield concert in Wendover. The show starts at 8pm and the trip takes 2 hrs from our house(especially going down Bangerter). I plan to leave home around 5 pm to allow time for motel check-in and maybe food (big maybe). The husband leaves work at Noon to take our daughter to stay with his mother. Even with travel time, he has plenty of time to get ready. I leave work at 4pm, like I planned, cuz I can’t take the day off or leave much earlier than that. I plan to dress casual, cuz it’s not Vegas people. It’s just Wendover. But I want to fix my hair and makeup a little, though. Anyone who really knows me knows that I didn’t already have my hair and makeup done for work. And I still need to pack a few things. I get home to find the husband dressing up. And I’m all, “You don’t need to dress up. I’m not.” He says he wants to dress a little nicer. Fine. Whatever. I pack my stuff in the suitcase and all that’s left is to change my top and fix my hair/makeup. Husband says he thought about going to the bank, but didn’t actually do it cuz we can stop by on the way out of town. That makes no sense to me since he left work more than 4 hours ago, but fine. Whatever. He then remarks that he didn’t realize this was a dress rehearsal. And I’m all, “Dress rehearsal? WTH is that supposed to mean?” And he says nevermind, which of course pisses me off. So when he does finally answer me, it’s a derogatory remark about me wanting to make myself look a little nicer. And I’m all, WTF? You’re dressing up and you can’t understand why I wanna do my hair and put on some makeup? You left work when? And you couldn’t bother to stop by the bank to save us some time? Seriously? Ok, so that was all in my head, but still. I was pissed. So I go into the bathroom (slamming the door for the desired effect) and realize that there’s no time to do my hair or makeup. That’s just great. Thankyouverymuch. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and come out of the bathroom to start throwing my last few things together. Maybe I’ll have some time once we get there to put some makeup on. I tell the husband that I’m upset about not doing anything wrong, but yet being made to feel really small for needing to do a few things. The husband then decides to tell me to go by myself and to have a good time. I NEED to have a good time by myself, he says. And I’m all, “Absolutely not! I’m not going to give you an opportunity to throw it back in my face later that I was a bitch who kept you from going to this concert! You’re going!” I may not speak to you for the entire trip, but you are FUCKING GOING! Ok, so that last part was an exaggeration. I grab everything except his CPAP and stomp down the stairs. The husband is behind me mumbling how I’m stubborn for not letting him carry anything. And I’m thinking, Dood, you just need to shut the hell up and get in the damn car before I change my mind! I throw everything in the car. And realize I’m starving. I know I won’t be eating before the show and I WILL be drinking. A LOT. That’s a given at this point. So I search the pantry for something to eat and the husband asks if I want yogurt. And I’m all, “Yogurt? And exactly how am I supposed to eat that?” He says with a spoon. And I’m all, “Seriously? While I’m driving?” Cuz I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let YOU drive! We get on the road and he doesn’t say a word. Not one. For like 30 minutes. And I’m thinking, Dood, you are SO not helping your case. He finally apologizes, and for once it actually sounded sincere (Long story. Really REALLY long story.). And he offers to drive so I can get ready. No way I’m letting him drive when we’re in a time crunch. HELL no. So we settle into a slightly less awkward silence for a while, which is just fine by me.

The rest of the drive was uneventful until the last 30 miles or so, which is where we encounter a bunch of drivers that are freakin’ STOOPID. They have no idea of how to drive on a two-lane highway (hint: YOU DON’T CAMP YOUR ASS IN THE LEFT LANE! I’m just sayin.). My tolerance on the road is…oohh…zero. Zilch. Nada. Especially now. So, to get away from them, I end up doing 100 the rest of the way to Wendover. The husband looks over at one point, and I’m all, “Yes, I AM doing a hundred!” Just stay on your side of the car. You’re still on my shitlist! Ok, so I only really said that first part. But the rest was on the tip of my tongue, I promise you.

Capping off the night? The motel. I have a reservation, but there’s a delay checking in. The desk clerk goes to get someone’s help. Oh shit. This other person comes out and says that the reservation was cancelled. Ummmmm, I didn’t cancel my reservation. The new clerk says they have one room available (a suite) that’s $129.95. Ummmm, I STILL didn’t cancel my reservation that was booked at $60. She says they’ll get it fixed. She calls customer service who tells her they cancelled the reservation per a phone call on 9/6/09. Ummmm, oooook. I supposedly called to cancel my reservation that I made ONLINE and no one thought to send me a confirmation ONLINE that it was cancelled? Sure, I totally get that. I do it all the time. Amazingly, I stay calm (I have NO idea how at this point). The clerk says they’ll fix it and gets us a room. I’m all, Didn’t you just say that you only had one room? Sweet, we’re gettin the suite? Niiiice! Oh, we’re getting a regular room? Fine. I’ll take it. We’re running out of time before the show starts, so I don’t fucking care anymore. I just want a place to sleep tonight. Wait! Didn’t you just say that you only had one room left?

We head straight to the concert hall after that and I’m so close to spewing forth the slew of 4-letter words I’ve been bottling up for the past 2 hours. Ask Twitter. I’ve got just enough time to throw on some mascara before the concert. And with a wave of that magic wand, I’m transformed into Princess Cinderella who gets swept off her feet by Prince Charming. Ok, so maybe it wasn’t quite that magical. Rick never got anywhere near me. But I got to see a great show.

And I can’t believe it just took me 3 hours to write this. I was reliving it…..in real-time. Great.

BlogHer@Home is the bomb, and that’s not just the booze talking.

Just signed off from an awesome time at http://www.blogherathome.com/. It was awesome, just fucking awesome. The chat tonite had some awesome giveaways (I didn’t win, but I’m still hopeful for tomorrow!) and some great laughs. If I didn’t have to be an adult tomorrow and go to work, I would totally still be chatting there now. 😉

I’m more than lightly toasted, bordering on half-baked. The husband keeps trying to talk to me, but all I hear is, “Wah Wah…Wah…Wah Wah Wah…Wah Wah” (& if you have never watched a Charlie Brown cartoon don’t EVEN ask, you baby!).

Ok, so I just put on my Beatles CD. WTF? Is this what I listen to when I’m drinkin? Hmmm….not that I can recall, but then again I don’t really remember much right now. It’s probably the booze talking. Or not. I just might be *that* weird. My friends can attest to that.

Anywhoo, you should totally check out http://blogherathome.com/, cuz these bitches are AMAZING! Hope to see you ladies again tomorrow. Thx so much for the hangover that I can complain about tomorrow. You’ll never know how much it means to me. ROFL I should totally go to sleep now. Emphasis on *should*.

*Updated* Blog Hop ’09 from the perspective of a (not so) noob blogger.

Reading all kinds of blog posts & tweets about BlogHer ’09, I was jealous. I admit it. I wish I was there hangin’ with the big dogs, partyin’ like it’s 1999, & learning from the best. Not this year, though. After finding out about it fairly late, I 1st ticked off the reasons of why I wasn’t worthy to attend & then said, “Screw it. I’m totally worthy!” But then, my mental birthday block temporarily lifted and I remembered that the cruise for my 40th is coming up. BlogHer had to take a back seat this year.

So here I am playin’ Bejeweled Blitz with the green-eyed monster. And I’m not alone. I don’t blame the others either; Bejeweled Blitz is the bomb. The good news is we’re not left out. We can party from home and it’s even better, cuz we don’t have to spend all the money to go to Chicago. We can even party in our pj’s! What’s better than that? Come join Blog Hop ’09 & meet lots of other bloggers out there. I’m definitely not gonna miss this!

Update – I just now caught that I had put Blog Hop ’90 in my title instead of ’09. The fact that I caught that after tossin’ back a few just might be scary. Hmmmmm…..

I should be banned from all staff meetings.

I’m usually pretty quiet in staff meetings. I keep my comments to myself until after when the little groups break apart into their more intimate bitch sessions. Today was another story. I had serious difficulty in keeping my comments to myself today when it came to discussing the merger/layoffs. Granted they were whispered to my friend sitting next to me, but still…..

Co-worker: I wonder what kind of morale booster they will have.

Me: cattle prod.

Co-worker: I’m sure they could come up with a really nice morale booster.

Me: oh…scented cattle prod.

She started rolling & I was laughing so hard I drooled on the table. Everyone else in the meeting was wondering what was wrong with us, especially when she got up to get me a tissue to wipe the table. Cuz no one wants to put their hands in someone else’s spit, no matter how funny the joke was that caused it to be there. I think the department head was glad for the 5 weeks where I missed the staff meetings.

Farkle is the fucking Devil.

I know I’m not alone in this and I’m asking for your help.

I’m recruiting members for a new firing squad which will have a single purpose: to destroy the creator(s) of Farkle. This won’t really be surprising to them. They started this game for their own enjoyment and only turned it on the rest of the world Facebook community when they realized how addicted they had become. This was their revenge against their own Frankenstein monster. We need to put them out of their misery just as much as we need to be released from their curse.

They’ll thank us, trust me.

To find my life story at Blockbuster, you would need to look in the Comedy section.

No…..greek tragedy.

Wait…..no…..drama, total drama.

Um…..actually…..horror.

Romance? No…..I think not.

Just like there’s no way it can be action-adventure…..lol.

Hmm…..

Fantasy? Definitely some of that in there.

Let’s see…..war? On occasion.

What about adult? Oh hell no, everyone knows it’s definitely not that.

Mystery? Absolutely! Just don’t expect to find out the solution, cuz I’M still waiting for that one!

we should line up the tv people in front of a firing squad for their crappy series finales…..

i’m wondering if tv isn’t just a big conspiracy. you may be asking if i’m just ranting…..damn straight i’m ranting! you get hooked on a show & it never fails that for SOME reason, the freakin’ rug gets pulled out from under you.

i got hooked into kyle xy on abc family. watched it diligently like a good little minion. i noticed not too long ago that all the previews were saying “the final episodes”. and i’m all crap! another show i like being cancelled! do i have cooties or something that causes the shows i like to be cancelled? i still watch (being the good little minion that i am) and i have to say there was a really good build-up to the series finale last monday. the finale itself kept my interest & i’m waiting for all the little pieces to fall into place the way they’re supposed to in a final episode. then i notice the clock. it’s getting awfully close to the end of the show, and yet, nothing has really been resolved. and i’m thinking “damn they better wrap this up quick!” well, THAT TOTALLY DID NOT HAPPEN! they literally dropped a few bombshells that left the story WAY too open. wtf????? don’t do this to me! i’d love to just line ’em all up in front of a firing squad for getting me all excited & then dash my hopes of a (if even somewhat) happy ending over & over & OVER again!

i found this great recap that absolutely says it all. and click here to see some answers from a writer/co-producer of the show.

why the hell do i even bother watching tv anymore? cuz i’m a good little minion…..

it’s a duel – pistols pianos at 10 paces keys on main at high noon 9 pm…..

i’ve been in utah for 6 years now, and i’ve been to a total of count ’em one…..two bars here. and both have been within the last year. obviously i haven’t converted – how can you even think that? lol with the price of alcohol here + the private club ‘memberships’ (which, finally, are due to go away july 1), it was kind of a pain in the ass to go to clubs for me. well, as the last year has proven, i refuse to let that stop me anymore.

sat nite i went to keys on main with some friends from work. it’s a dueling piano bar in downtown slc. i’ve been to one before in dallas and had an amazing time. i had heard great things about the keys & could not wait to get there! let me tell you the best way to do this is to take trax. trax stops right in front of the bar. you don’t have to worry about paying for parking, let alone finding a spot. and afterwards you’ve got time to sober up on the train. score! now taking trax can be quite entertaining. this time was no exception. some dumb ass decides he’s gonna fuck with the people on the train & starts walking through the car yelling, “tickets!”. he started doing this right behind one of the friends i was with and she actually started to take hers out. that is of course until she realized who was really yelling. he also pulled this trick to new passengers who got on at later stops. whatever floats your boat, dude – you’re a fuckin’ idiot.

the music was great! they played lots of good stuff. the way it works is you request songs w/$$. if it’s played, the song can be stopped for at least $1 more than it was requested for. then can be restarted for at least $1 than it was stopped for, and so on. ‘friends in low places’ was requested, but i guess the players weren’t really wanting to play it, so they kind of encouraged someone to stop it. and someone did. it was a bummer, cuz that song is hella fun (did i really just write ‘hella’? oh fuck!) to sing. luckily someone else felt the same way, cuz they payed $50 to get it going again. totally worth it! especially when they played the verse where you get to say ‘kiss my ass’! we were singin’ loud and laughin’ hard all nite. (trav, they played that tenacious d song you sent me last week to embarrass this one girl. must not have been too embarrassed though, cuz she demonstrated her fav posit on cue multiple times & it was fucking awesome!)

we left the bar just as the show ended, so we could be sure to catch the last train to clarksville (a.k.a. sandy) to get back to our cars. i made the mistake of not going to the bathroom before we left the bar. so the whole train ride back i’m doing EVERYTHING possible to NOT fucking pee my pants cuz we’re still laughing our asses off. at one point, i innocently mentioned that i was the same age as one of the friends on the train. OOPS!!!!! i said earlier that nite that i’m not afraid of 40 (i’m not) but she said she was, so when i mentioned that we were the same age………well you can kind of guess what happened next (but you should know that it was funny as hell – not bad). i had to promise to bring in orange slices to make amends. damn, she’s easy!

we parted company when we got to our trax station & i had one goal (ok 2 goals but i had been holding for so long already, what’s another 30 min.? lol)……………FOOD!!!!! there aren’t too many places open at 2 am, but one of them is a dive mexican place that has really good breakfast burritos. i grabbed one and headed home. i walked in the door & headed straight for the bathroom, where i stayed for like 5 min (is that a record? eh, prolly not), and then ate my food. i must have been starving cuz i ate the WHOLE burrito & i never do that (they are pretty big & have lots of stuff in ‘em). & then? i CRASHED!!!!!

i woke up yesterday morning looking like a racoon and my throat raw from all the singing and laughing. but then it gets weird. my hips and legs are fucking killing me, like i’ve been ridden hard & put away wet. wtf????? we’ve all heard of drunk booty calls, but is there such a thing as a DREAM drunk booty call (cuz there is absolutely NO way in hell that i got any)????? what other explanation could there be? i tried last nite to start this blog post, but i guess i was still in somewhat of a drunk daze, cuz i couldn’t seem to do more than write a few facts. i just didn’t have the mental capacity to do it up right. so i left the draft in there, and allowed it to stew for a bit, knowing that something good would come to me.

so now, we’re to this morning. the drunk daze is gone, but i have like 5 frogs in my throat cuz apparently i still haven’t learned to project from the diaphragm. and………… i remembered to bring the orange slices. i’m all set.