Category Archives: metriculation diaries

Nearing the 1st semester half-way point.

I can’t believe it. I’m just about half-way through my 1st real semester of college. And I haven’t dropped a class. And I actually have an A in both classes. This cannot be me. It just can’t. Me, the high school Junior & Senior year slacker (except in Band, of course), who had to cram the night before and the morning of her high school Economics final in order to graduate (got a B on the final & pulled a D out of the class. Whew!).

I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know it’s coming. I just know it.

It’s funny. My College Algebra class is the one I thought would be tough. I was thinking that a 20-year gap would possibly be too much to overcome. I have been wrong (so far) and I haven’t quite figured out what has made the difference. Is it that whole ‘older but wiser’ concept? Is it that I’m putting forth more effort this time around? Is it that this professor just explains it better? All of these are quite possible, though I’m not sure I can pin the difference down to just one reason. Maybe it’s all of them. Maybe it’s that I have better liquor now. Who knows!

My Computer Essentials class is a whole OTHER story. It’s a stupid prerequisite for the programming classes I need (which I really don’t get at all, but whatever). I was feeling going into the class that it should be an easy A. For the most part, it is. EXCEPT. Except for the fact that the (associate) professor teaching this class is treating the Word section like an English class (e.g. I have to write a paper for my Word Final Project). WTF? AND (here’s one of the best parts) she is grading based on a statement in the book that says something ‘typically’ does not occur. Since when does typically equal a hard coded rule? When you point that out to her and provide examples to support it? She says the book says so, so that’s what it is. She shows a complete disregard of the points made. Might as well have not said a damn thing. I talk to others who have taken the same class at the same school under different professors and I get a very different view. Figures. I get the professor who for all I know is being this way thinking it will get her tenure. It was a mistake to take this class from her. I wish I could test out of it, but that’s not an option. Oh well. I am looking forward to the course eval when this is all over.

One week down…..

I actually finished my college checklist. WOOT!

  • Apply/get accepted (completed)
  • Take placement tests (completed)
  • Complete New Student Orientation (completed)
  • Apply for financial aid (completed)
  • Select classes (completed)
  • Register for classes (completed)
  • Start classes VERY IMPORTANT! (completed)
  • I survived my first week, amazingly, considering how much things have changed. I’m taking one in-person class and one online class, but all my homework is online. So weird. I spent hours yesterday doing my homework for my College Algebra class bcuz not only am I learning how to use MyMathLab for homework, I’m re-learning a lot of Algebra (or more accurately refreshing my memory).

    The online class I’m taking is Computer Essentials. If I don’t ace this class, I deserve to be bitchslapped. And I already have friends waiting in line to help me out with that. Gotta love ’em!

    I haven’t written here anywhere near as much as I would like. I hope it doesn’t get worse over the next few months. But who knows, maybe my college experiences will give me even more to write about.

    D-Day approaches & I will storm the beaches of Normandy SLCC campus with guns blazing pencils ready.

    The start of the fall semester is looming in the not too distant future, so I figured it was time to take a look at where I am with everything that needs to be done to kick this pig. No, I’m not really going to kick a pig, unless you have treasured loathesome stuffed pig with the stuffing starting to come out that you want to loan me. If we do this, though, you should know it’s safe to say that you won’t get your pig back.

    Wait a minute…..what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah…college checklist. (Sigh) There are days I still can’t believe I am actually attempting this torture yet AGAIN. But things seem to be falling into place pretty well & quickly, so that must mean that this is the right time in my life to get this done. 3rd time’s a charm, right? Below is my initial checklist that just covers the basics at a high-level. I didn’t think it was necessary to get really detailed by adding things like: (Under Apply for financial aid) Pull at least 1/2 your hair out trying to find all the required financial documentation that you thought you were through with once you finally got off your ass & filed your god damned taxes. That just goes without saying, right?

  • Apply/get accepted (completed)
  • Take placement tests (completed)
  • Complete New Student Orientation (completed)
  • Apply for financial aid
  • Select classes
  • Register for classes
  • Start classes VERY IMPORTANT!
  • I’m applying for financial aid while working on selecting my classes, cuz that’s just the kind of psychotic awesome multitasker I am. I’m even finding time/energy to keep my blog updated with my academic escapades. Damn, I’m good. Now if I could just figure out what my major should be? I couldn’t find professional alcohol consumer on the list. I’m at a loss.

    I’m another step closer to finally getting a degree or falling flat on my face.

    I’m doing it. I’m really doing it this time. I’m going back to college to get my degree. I think.

    I took my English and Math placement tests today so I can register for the fall semester. I really thought I would struggle with the English part more than the Math. After all, I was in Calculus by my senior year. What a fucking crock of shit. A serious wake-up call was headed my way ….. FAST.

    The test started with the English portions and I was actually giddy (short-lived unfortunately) to get them out of the way first. There were a few pre-test background questions and then the actual test started. These two sections proved to be the easiest and fastest to take.

    Then came the Math portions. There was only one background question that asked how well I knew Algebra. The possible answers were:

    a) I don’t know what Algebra is. (I shit you not)

    b)Not at all

    c)I used to, but I forgot it.



    Still thinking Math will be the easier test, I actually debated whether to answer d or e, but finally settled on c. Yeah…’s sad to say how right that answer really was. As you can see from the test scores in the pic below, each math section went a just a little further downhill than the previous section.

    Can’t I just take the English portion twice & forget the Math? I didn’t even bother trying to figure out some of the advanced math questions, cuz I knew that those brain cells were permanently damaged from one of my many nites of hard partying. That & they were actual proof that NO WAY have I EVER used advanced math outside of high school (so exactly why did I take those classes?). And none of the questions offered an “I drank my way through high school & a good chunk of the next two decades, so there isn’t a snowball’s chance in Hell that I will have the answer to this question.”, so I did the only thing I could do……….guess. I’m not sure of the wisdom in requiring an answer to each question. What if? Just what if? Someone guessed at the questions and got them right? A possibly remedial student being told to register for college-level calculus. Hmm…..perhaps his luck would continue to hold out. Perhaps not.

    So now I have my course placements for English and Math.

    If I consider this logically, it looks like I’m about middle of the road on the math class I have to take. I don’t know this for sure (cuz I haven’t checked out the course catalog yet), but I refuse to potentially burst my bubble just yet.

    And it may just be me, but I think I rocked the English test.
    P.S. Logic does occasionally prevail. I just checked out the course descriptions, and I am around the middle. I can either take College Algebra, Quantitative Reasoning, Intro to Statistics, or College Algebra – Business. Apparently, I only managed to erase the last two years of high school math (Trig & Calc) with my binge drinking. Whew…..
    P.S.S. I was right. I DID rock the English test. I’m supposed to take Intermediate Writing. I guess all these years of correcting Robert’s atrocious grammar and my bullshitting really paid off. I hope they don’t find out how full of shit I really am. LOL