He was pissed off. At me. I didn’t understand why. So I asked.
Instead of getting an answer, I was insulted. I was called a whore.
I didn’t understand why.
The insults continued.
I explained that I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I was told that I was not trusted. That I was in danger of crossing a line.
I wasn’t. I was falsely accused.
I never did anything remotely close to what I was being accused of. I know I didn’t. I explained that and the insults stopped. I thought things would calm down.
I was wrong.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I was the bad person again. The insults resumed.
And then it was quiet. He left.
Hours later, I received an apology, but I was still upset. I wasn’t being unreasonable. An apology just didn’t sweep it all away and make it not have happened. And when I explained that?
I was told to bury it.
I was supposed to bury the fact that I had been treated badly. I was supposed to act as if nothing ever happened.
How could I do that? WHY would I do that?
And because I wouldn’t ‘bury it’, I was the bad person all over again. The cycle repeated. The insults resumed.
Except that I still had not done anything wrong.
And I still didn’t understand why.
The next morning, I received another apology. I was told he was wrong. I was told he overreacted. I was told he acted immaturely. But he still didn’t acknowledge that I didn’t do anything wrong.
I explained that I can’t let this keep happening. I can’t continue to be a verbal punching bag. He agreed.
So now I try to get past it. But it’s hard. It gets harder each time. And when I think about what happened…
…I still don’t understand why.