Yeah, me neither.
Except today…..aaaaannnd maybe yesterday too…..and maybe the day before that. So pretty much every damn day.
Ok…..so maybe not every day.
There are days when the logic prevails and I’m reminded that this was a GREAT decision. It’s been going well. Everything has been moving forward. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting a little closer.
Then there are the days when I repeatedly kick myself at the stupidity of this self-torture I’ve subjected myself to on a freaking near-daily basis. The days when I wonder just how small I will be made to feel. The days when I think I would be so much better off on my own as a single parent. The days when I think of possible reasons for
hiring a hit man drinking myself into oblivion running off with a sugar daddy avoiding going home.
I won’t go into detail as to why I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs today (many days actually). The details aren’t important. And I know that when my best friend in the whole wide world reads this, she’ll be saying, “I’ll take Dumbasses whose names begin with the letter ‘R’ for $200 Alex.” Cuz even though I won’t tell her what’s going on, she KNOWS. And I love her for that.
And I know I will get past this. I will get to one of those days when logic will win out. Hopefully I will start to see more of those.