i’m not old. i may be nearing 40 & blind as a bat without my contacts/glasses, but i am NOT old. & i’m sure i will continue to say that even on the day i get put in a home. i’ve been lucky in that i don’t look my age (at least that’s what other people tell me & it’s managing to make it past the short-term memory dump i seem to have each night, so who am i to argue?). i don’t even have a problem with my age, usually. i’m not sure, but the day my son graduated from high school & the day he turned 18 might have been exceptions to that. i really don’t remember much of those days. anyway, i always say, “you’re only as old as you feel”, which helps me forget at least for a little while. tequila & beer helps too. the bottom line is that i don’t actually feel like i’m finishing up my 4th decade on this earth.
that was until……….
i saw a piece of lint in my eyebrow recently. i started pulling on it & i became like the mother in the movie bachelor party
where she’s trying to take the ‘footlong’ off the tray from nick the dick. it wouldn’t come off! so i was all, “the hell? the HELL? OH NO! A GREY HAIR! in my EYEBROW? guess i can’t complain too much. at least it’s not a pubic hair!”
it’s the 1st one i have ever found, but that doesn’t say much. the past 10 years i’ve been dying my hair to destroy any evidence of …… (if you’ve known me longer than that, you know, but plz don’t tell) i could have a shit load of them and just not know it. why couldn’t the grey hair be there? then i could gladly live in blissful ignorance.
now begins the debate: to pluck or not to pluck? you hear a lot these days how it’s bad to pluck your eyebrows. natural is better. fuck you. if we were all natural, we’d all have bushy cavewomen unibrows. that’s attractive. i leave mine alone for the most part, except for the strays that must have come from my monkey ancestors that SO need to just stay buried in the past. and this stupid grey hair is right in the middle of my eyebrow. so what to do – leave it alone or pull that mf’r out as fast as i can? it could leave a gaping hole in my eyebrow. how would i explain that? “um, we had a little laser pointer mishap at our last staff meeting. that’s actually fucking awesome.
i haven’t actually decided yet what to do with it, even though each time i see it i lean more towards plucking. i should just do it & get it over with. then i can go back to my mantra, even if i’m the only one who believes it. i still don’t feel old. i just hope it doesn’t multiply & spread. the day i find a grey pubic hair will be a sad day indeed.
update – i guess there will come a day when even i won’t believe the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. i fell asleep during the digital scrapbooking webinar i took last nite. i’m screwed.
mother nature needs to stop screwing with us. last week was gorgeous – by friday, we were in the 70’s. a little soon to be that warm, but we weren’t complaining. sunday came and all bets were off. the temp started to drop, it was really windy & we got a little rain. no biggie. i can handle that. by monday am, it was snowing AGAIN!!!!! i mean, come on! no more f’n snow! i’m DONE!!!!!
if i just smothered my husband with a pillow? i’m not really serious, but this morning, it was dicey there for a bit. i’ve pretty much been up since @ 3 am this morning. and it’s all bcuz of him & his freakin’ sleep apnea! crap! he’s had it for years, but was diagnosed and started treatment only in the last year or so. now…..let me paint a good & clear pic for you. his snoring is HORRIBLE!!!!! it’s progressively gotten worse over the years to the point where it started either keeping me from falling asleep or waking me up in the middle of night. and many times both! i told him to go get it checked out, but did he? OF COURSE NOT!!!!! why should he listen to me? i don’t know anything. when he was injured a couple of years ago, the hospital staff told him the exact same thing i had been saying. he still didn’t get it checked out. freak! meanwhile, he complained that he wasn’t getting decent rest (DUH!!!!!) and that would just set me off. OF COURSE he wasn’t getting decent rest, cuz he’d stop breathing a million times during the night. HELLO??????? finally he got into a sleep study and was diagnosed with (…..wait for it…..wait for it…..TA DA!) sleep apnea. HOLY FREAKIN SHIT! what a breakthrough! he was placed on a cpap immediately and the pressure is set very high. the mask he has to wear shifts during the night and makes anywhere from a low whistle to a high howling noise. this is helpful? then of course during the night, he takes it off. what happens then? he snores! can’t i get a break here?
so this morning, the mask starts making the howling noise @ 3 am. what does he do? takes it off and immediately starts snoring. i’m awake by now so once the snoring commences, it’s nearly impossible for me to go back to sleep. i finally get up & get ready for work @ 6, and i doubt that i will make it through the day today. but, i will try. and, i will try not to smother him with a pillow tonight. however, if i am unable to resist the urge to have a relatively decent night’s sleep myself, no one would really blame me, right? LOL
i get into work this morning and find two emails. one states that our company is being purchased by another larger one. the next is that there are meetings this morning to discuss the first email. while in the process of reading these emails, a group from my department came back from one of the meetings and says that i really need to go to the next meeting. the ceo was running the meeting and said that the merger was a really positive thing. of course it is……for him. i’m sure he stands to get a nice chunk of change from all of this. there’s not much that can be said at this point bcuz the deal is not closed yet. what information was available said that they were excited to be able to bring “most” of the existing employees over, but that duplicate positions would be eliminated. i work in payroll – that is definitely a redundant position. any person considering this merger logically would recognize that hr, payroll, and accounting would be at the top of the list of positions to be eliminated. so while it’s business as usual until the deal is closed, i may only have a job for the next 6-8 months. ugh!