i read an article escape your rat race in a recent o magazine that talks about how most people will tend to stay in their familiar “cage” rather than face the unknown even when the cage is the worst place for them to be. they keep themselves from finding their “rat park”.
when i thought about many of the decisions i have made in my life, i saw that i have been keeping myself in familiar situations, rather than allowing myself to find my more ideal life (note how i didn’t say perfect life). after reading this article, i feel better knowing that finding that ideal life won’t require any major changes. it’s just a matter of focusing on what feels psychologically “warmer” to me and making small changes as i go along. i can definitely do that.
so hopefully soon i can honestly say that i’m in rat park. it will be a much better place, i’m sure.
No matter whether it’s in terms of friendship or romance, you deserve a relationship that is based on mutual respect — is that what you have? Take a long, hard, honest look at your relationships, today. If you don’t feel like you are getting what you need, it’s okay for you to be more demanding. After all, others are demanding, too, from time to time, and you usually respond very favorably. Doesn’t it stand to reason that they will be responsive to your needs as well?
this so fits where i am right now. i will explain soon…..
if i just smothered my husband with a pillow? i’m not really serious, but this morning, it was dicey there for a bit. i’ve pretty much been up since @ 3 am this morning. and it’s all bcuz of him & his freakin’ sleep apnea! crap! he’s had it for years, but was diagnosed and started treatment only in the last year or so. now…..let me paint a good & clear pic for you. his snoring is HORRIBLE!!!!! it’s progressively gotten worse over the years to the point where it started either keeping me from falling asleep or waking me up in the middle of night. and many times both! i told him to go get it checked out, but did he? OF COURSE NOT!!!!! why should he listen to me? i don’t know anything. when he was injured a couple of years ago, the hospital staff told him the exact same thing i had been saying. he still didn’t get it checked out. freak! meanwhile, he complained that he wasn’t getting decent rest (DUH!!!!!) and that would just set me off. OF COURSE he wasn’t getting decent rest, cuz he’d stop breathing a million times during the night. HELLO??????? finally he got into a sleep study and was diagnosed with (…..wait for it…..wait for it…..TA DA!) sleep apnea. HOLY FREAKIN SHIT! what a breakthrough! he was placed on a cpap immediately and the pressure is set very high. the mask he has to wear shifts during the night and makes anywhere from a low whistle to a high howling noise. this is helpful? then of course during the night, he takes it off. what happens then? he snores! can’t i get a break here?
so this morning, the mask starts making the howling noise @ 3 am. what does he do? takes it off and immediately starts snoring. i’m awake by now so once the snoring commences, it’s nearly impossible for me to go back to sleep. i finally get up & get ready for work @ 6, and i doubt that i will make it through the day today. but, i will try. and, i will try not to smother him with a pillow tonight. however, if i am unable to resist the urge to have a relatively decent night’s sleep myself, no one would really blame me, right? LOL
i had such a strange dream the other night. really strange for me. as usual, i have forgotten a lot of the details. however, i do remember that obama was in it. wtf????? i am not a politically minded person, so the fact that the president elect was in my dream, and in the part of my dream that i remember, is just too weird for me. WEIRD i tell you!
oh, but it gets so much weirder…….. i may not remember many details, but i do know that the dream was sexual in nature. let me say again…..WTF????? am i the new monica lewinsky? the new scandal to take down the first african american president in history? holy crap, i’ll be FAMOUS!!!!!
i know that you can’t take dreams at face value and that the whole thing is probably representing something else going on in my mind (something going on in my mind? me? nah, not possible. there’s nothing up there. i’ve got blond roots, remember?). when i woke up, though, all i could think about is how out of left field that was. note to self: no more of those, please. i’m begging you. LOL