i swear my cat has a secret death wish…..

either that or she is seriously sadistic.

for some strange freakin’ reason, my cat likes to play with my daughter’s rubber bracelets and my hair elastics. she takes them, carries them in her mouth, bats them around, chews on them, and then drops them in her either food dish or water dish. and it’s usually the water dish…..ew. while she does this, she’s usually crying at them. does she think they’re gonna talk back? i dunno. she mostly does this when no one is home cuz she thinks she can get away with it. it also gives us “presents” when we get home. both my daughter & i were bad about leaving those things out, so i started making sure that everything was put away so the cat wouldn’t take them.

the cat caught on. i still found my hair elastics in her water dish even though i KNOW i had them put away. come to find out that she was OPENING THE DRAWER they are in & STEALING them for her play time!!!!! this made me start to question what the hell she was thinking, cuz she knows she gets yelled at when she takes them. so why would she deliberately go into my drawer and take them? are they orgasmic for her? wtf????? i took a new tactic, closing the bathroom door. if the door is closed, then she can’t get into the drawer & steal my hair elastics, right?

wrong. cuz it never fails that someone (myself included) forgets and leaves the bathroom door open. & she’s just waiting to pounce on such an opportunity. she’s now not afraid to try this while we are home, as long as we are downstairs. she’s been caught slinking downstairs with the elastic in her mouth seeing if she can get past us without being seen. of course i get furious at her & she freaks. but does she stop doing it? hell no.

so yesterday morning, i’m getting ready for work. i took an elastic out of the drawer and set it on the counter. before i finished my hair, i ran downstairs to do something on the computer. i was gone FIVE MINUTES. i went back upstairs & continued to get ready. meanwhile, the cat is downstairs crying. sometimes she does this to make sure that she is not alone in the house. i didn’t think it was anything more than that…..at first. but she kept crying & crying & crying. then it doned on me…….SHE FUCKING STOLE MY ELASTIC!!!!! i looked at the counter, and sure enough…..it was gone. so i take off downstairs fuming, ready to KILL. the cat was under the table with my elastic. she started to bolt, & i know she was thinking, “oh shit…..i’m fucked!”. i blocked her path, so she tried to get around another direction…..blocked again. then she crouched down under the table, so she must have decided she better just take it & get it over with. the whole time i’m yelling at her & she’s crying back at me. as if her pleas would have any affect on me, cuz tomorrow she would do the same thing in a heartbeat if i let her. i wasn’t even finished ranting at her & she managed to get free & take off. damn! what a let down! lol but i finished getting ready for work in silence.

i got home from work last night. the cat came down the stairs, saw me, & bolted right back up. so at least i know the impression is still there for now……my hair elastics get a temporary reprieve.