A couple days ago, I took Ash out to get some shots to test my camera. I wanted to make sure I was really ready for a portrait session I have tomorrow, the first after having my camera’s noise problem fixed. What would be the point of taking people out if there was no chance of getting any decent photos, right? Using Ash as a model for test shots had multiple benefits: I would get reassurance that my camera was ready and I would have more photos of my daughter. So, I talked her into it. Not an easy feat let me tell you.

I choose a location that I have always wanted to use for a photo shoot, but hadn’t yet. Since it was a weekday evening, and we had to wait until after work to go out, we were losing the light quickly. I knew we wouldn’t be able to get a lot of shots, but we dove right in. Ash was great. She paid close attention to what I was trying to accomplish and followed my posing suggestions really well. I didn’t know how the shots would turn out, but I was definitely hopeful.

What I ended up with was, well, downright awesome. I got some shots that didn’t need a lot of post processing. It confirmed that my camera is ready for the photo shoot, and I got some amazing shots of Ash for both my portfolio and as her mother.

As any good parent would do, I shared the images with her father. He responded that he liked them, and I was glad that I did it.

Yesterday, I received an email from The Ex asking me for one of the photos. He didn’t ask to get a print of the photo, though. He asked me for the image file, so that he could print a copy for himself.

Am I wrong to be bothered by this? At best, his request was presumptuous; at worst, it was rude and selfish.

I am a photographer. When I took those photos, it wasn’t as her mother. I took those photos as part of my business. The fact that I got amazing shots of my daughter was just a bonus. It’s not as if The Ex is not aware that I am working to build a business either. There were other ways to get a copy of the image. To ask me for the file was… well, let’s just say my emotions have been kind of all over the place.

On the other hand, he is her father. I do understand that, which is why I have shared a lot of images I have taken with him. Granted they have all been lo-res and watermarked, but I never thought twice about sending him copies of them. Because she is his daughter too.

I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking of what to do. The answer just isn’t that simple. What I came up with is this…

I will offer to get him a print from my lab. I will even offer to get it for him at my cost. Then again, I may even decide to just give him the print once it arrives. I won’t even mention how inappropriate I think it was for him to request the image file. I will just point him in the right direction. Subtly.

If he chooses to not accept the print option, I will give him the image file. It will, however, not be a high-res file. And it will be watermarked.

When The Ex arrived yesterday to pick Ash up, he asked me what type of camera I use. Have I mentioned that tact was never his strong suit? He didn’t, however, mention the email. I didn’t mention it either. I hadn’t yet decided what I was going to do, so I felt it was best to not take a chance of saying something I would regret later.

I think I made the right decision. Across the board.