Category Archives: dreams

dreams, life's injustices, love, relationships

Some days I just don’t know how I’m going to do this.


Having this time to myself just wasn’t what I thought it would be.

When the husband said he was finally being sent out of town for work, I dropped to my knees and cried, “My prayers have been answered, thank you LORD!” But then I remembered that I’m agnostic, so that didn’t really help. I thought that the time apart would be a good break from the tension in the house. And it has been. But along with that, came something I wasn’t expecting. Something that I am having a difficult time explaining (even to myself). I found that I focused on how much I wanted to be free of this ‘arrangement’ and to move on with my life. To hopefully find love again. And I realized how scared I am that I won’t be able to find it. That I won’t be able to have a lasting, loving relationship (that is after the prince charges up on his white steed and sweeps me off my feet – good dream!). It keeps me up at night and helps me plot how I’m going to stab the husband as he sleeps cuz I can he snores.

I recently bought the eternity necklace above. I’m not superstitious. I just liked the idea of wearing these rings near my heart reminding me of things I need to hold onto through this tough time (cuz I couldn’t find faith, trust, and pixie dust). If they don’t work I can always start rubbing my rabbit’s foot, knocking on wood, and spinning around clockwise 7 times.

P.S. I’m watching An Officer and a Gentleman on cable and they dubbed over & bleeped out the word wop. This country’s going to hell. I should probably try to get some sleep, but the odds of success are not in my favor. Good thing the husband is not here or he would be in serious danger if he eyeballed me.

P.P.S. Oh, I need a drink.

dreams, plinky prompts, the method to my madness

why should i make a bucket list? i’m going to live forever…..

yep, i’m in my ‘immortal’ frame of mind again. lol but, i guess i could list a few things on the off chance that i DO actually kick the bucket. limiting the list to 5 (cuz that’s what plinky asked for) is harder than you think and if i were to really do the list right, it would be MUCH longer (as i’m sure most people’s would). you also may notice that i seem to be in somewhat of a daredevil phase….. (would you say #5 counts as that? lol)
take a ride in a hot air balloon
i’ve always wanted to do this. it looks like it would be such a peaceful ride & i imagine the view would be beautiful! every year, provo has a hot air balloon event as part of their freedom festival (4th of july). it’s so amazing to see all those balloons take off early in the morning…..
get a bachelor’s degree
yeah, i’m pushing 40, & i still have not done this. my ‘year off’ from school (as i told my parents when i grad from hs) was indefinitely extended. life has a tendancy to intevene in even your best laid plans…..
go skydiving/bungee jumping
why the hell not? live life to the fullest! what i do think is funny, though, is that i have issues with those slingshot-type rides at ammusement parks. and yet i want to throw myself out of a plane/off a platform & hope that i don’t go splat on the earth below. interesting, don’t you think?
travel to greece/ireland
i’m combining a couple of places from my travel goal list for this one. these are two places i would really love to see before i ‘go’. i seem to be drawn to islands/water. does that mean something?
make love in hawaii under a waterfall
but not with just anyone…..
dreams, misc rantings, politics, S-E-X is NOT dirty, the method to my madness

where’d that come from?

1 Comment
i had such a strange dream the other night. really strange for me. as usual, i have forgotten a lot of the details. however, i do remember that obama was in it. wtf????? i am not a politically minded person, so the fact that the president elect was in my dream, and in the part of my dream that i remember, is just too weird for me. WEIRD i tell you!

oh, but it gets so much weirder…….. i may not remember many details, but i do know that the dream was sexual in nature. let me say again…..WTF????? am i the new monica lewinsky? the new scandal to take down the first african american president in history? holy crap, i’ll be FAMOUS!!!!!

i know that you can’t take dreams at face value and that the whole thing is probably representing something else going on in my mind (something going on in my mind? me? nah, not possible. there’s nothing up there. i’ve got blond roots, remember?). when i woke up, though, all i could think about is how out of left field that was. note to self: no more of those, please. i’m begging you. LOL