pandora is my savior at work…..no joke. it also makes me freakin’ laugh my ass off sometimes!
today i was listening to the kc & the sunshine band station i created recently cuz i absolutely needed something upbeat to keep me awake. i took a break from listening, but forgot to pause the music. when i finally went back to it, i scrolled to see what had played and i see that ‘lady in red’ played. wtf? really? it’s a damn disco station, and it played ‘lady in red’? freak! my boss has said that her abba station plays the beatles and other weird stuff too. don’t get me wrong, i have nothing against any of these bands/songs at all. but when i’m in a mood for a certain type of music, if something weird gets thrown in there, it totally throws off my mojo. lol and it’s just weird that they’re being played on disco stations. diiiissssscoooo. so i start to think that pandora has been taken over by trolls. and not just any trolls, but the trolls from ‘the 10th kingdom’. if you’ve ever seen that tv show, you know the trolls of which i speak. the trolls go to through a portal to modern-day nyc trying to find a prince who’s been turned into a dog by an evil witch who is trying to kill him. they happen upon a cassette boom box that has the bee gees ‘night fever’ in it and think it’s magic. they take the boom box & play the song over & over until the batteries die and they chuck it cuz our magic sucks. lol i think they decided to take my disco music to their kingdom and leave me with freakin’ ‘lady in red’. just great.
update: thank god for you tube (can i say that if i’m agnostic?). if not for you tube, those who have not seen ‘the 10th kingdom’ would be sitting there scratching their heads, asking, “wtf is she talking about? trolls in pandora and on tv?”
you should know that the trolls didn’t actually think the bee gees were magic. they thought the boom box was magic. but if you think about it, the bee gees really are magic i think (& there’s no way you can convince me otherwise so just suck it!) no man can sing THAT high without some kind of magic. maybe it’s magic psychedelic mushrooms that make you fall asleep while playing ‘whiter shade of pale’ so vines can grow all over you and make you never wake up. lol
i turn the radio (regular radio – not pandora) on as i’m frantically trying to find my daughter’s new school on my way to work this morning, and ‘stayin’ alive’ is playing. i shit you not! fate is a funny thing. i had to laugh even harder cuz the station was playing aha’s ‘take on me’ over the top of it. i think the trolls have gotten in there too.
my work brings in free breakfast each friday, which i will greatly miss when my job ends up in the shitter. it’s not anything spectacular ….. muffins or doughnuts mostly with the occasional bagels thrown in. sometimes i just wonder if this company is secretly trying to make us all fat. it could happen.
today’s treat is muffins. and not just any ol’ muffins ……. COSTCO muffins! a few of the mixed muffin packages with some fruit thrown in for those that refuse to subject themselves to the gelatenous mess (i will explain) that is the costco muffin. i generally gravitate to the blueberry muffin when there is one bcuz i’ve been waiting for the inevitable throng of people to subside (free food??? HELL YEAH!!!!!). and when there isn’t, chocolate/chocolate chip, bcuz apparently i just don’t have enough self-loathing these days.
i manage to get to the break room while there is still a blueberry or two left. they don’t look the greatest, but then again it is free food. i then stop to talk to a co-worker about mindless shit, cuz it’s friday. i start picking off the top of the muffin and eating it, cuz i’m freakin’ STARVING. i notice that the muffin itself is blue, and not just the blueberries. i’m guessing the baker was just f’n lazy this morning and couldn’t bother him/herself to DRAIN the berries before adding them to the batter. Cuz, it takes all of, like, 10 SECONDS????? moving on ….. i take off the top of the middle, and have to ask “when did they put PUDDING in muffins?” and then i realize ….. my 1st thought was EWWWWWWWW! remember still talking about mindless shit with my co-worker so anything more coherent is probably out of the question. and then i start to wonder just how hungry am i? so i finish my conversation, refusing to touch the now questionably revolting muffin in my hand, and head back to my desk. by then i’m remembering how starving i really am and decide that i can totally pick around it. so i end up scooping out the “gelatenous mess” from the middle and finish my breakfast. what a way to start the morning! i’m so thankful it’s friday……….
i admit it. i receive emails from an online adult store. there, i said it. sometimes the stuff in the emails is just too unbelieveably weird. i received an email today from them and at the top of the message it said:
last chance – 25% off all vibrators for valentine’s day!
and i’m thinking, who in the HELL would give a vibrator as a valentine’s day present? i realize that many try to give something different than the more common candy or flowers. but, really? a vibrator? i guess nothing says true love more than a junk buzzer. well, some might actually agree with that.
maybe hallmark should get in the adult product biz. their new slogan could be “when you care enough to send the very best ………. orgasm”.
Writing about captivity and my bouts with Stockholm Syndrome since 2008.